Chillin' like Gilligan
So, Toasty Joe sent me an IM this morning stating that the Mets are "gellin' like Magellan". I, of course, replied that they are "on a tear like a steak medium rare". That reminded me of a 12 page word document sent to me by someone who will remain nameless that outlines every simile in Beastie Boys lyrics. ("Like the bun to the burger - like the burger to the bun, Like the cherry to the apple - to the peach to the plum", "The girl is crafty like ice is cold").
So, in honor of the gellin', medium-rare Mets, I have a game for today. I am going to try to work as many asinine rhyming similes in to normal conversation today as possible. I can't wait for my 2:00 staff meeting!
It's on like Donkey Kong
I'm out like a trout with the gout
The Great Debate - Hostess v. Drake's
Now we all know we are pretty much a country divided down the middle. Republicans and Democrats, Pro-War, Anti-War, Yankees, Red Sox, the list can go on and on.
What I realized last night is that this same debate goes on between what I like to call The Snack Cake Wars. Sure, we don't think about this too much anymore with everyone on their Atkins or North Beach or Men's Fitness, Self Magazine diet/weight training regimen. But no one can deny that craving every now and again for a tasty snack cake.
For some that craving lies with the likes of indomitable figures likeTwinkie the Kid or Captain Cup Cake from
Hostess, whilst others swing to the annoying dark side of those shoddily packaged tin foil wrapped Ring Dings, Yodels, and, the worst, Devil Dogs from
Drake's (yes their website sucks)
You see where I am coming from. I am a man who is not afraid to eat a
Sno-Ball, a conglomeration of sugar after sugar that you lose two teeth by just eating one. I am not afraid to admit that I signed this
petition to bring
Chocodiles back to the East Coast.
So the question is, where are you going to stand in this equation. The decision is sometimes compared to the importance of nominating Supreme Court Justices. It is just a matter of morals and decency that we stand for what is right in this country, a good piece of sponge cake with granular cream in it with a shelf life of 100 years.
The Schwizz's Top 5 Hostess Products5) Sno-Balls
4) Suzy Q's
3) Golden Cupcakes - yellow cake with chocolate icing and filling? Genius!
2)
Twinkies - The Kid, nuff said
1) Chocodiles - they only sell them west of the Mississippi now, because of lack of east coast consumer demand
Just remember on thing in this battle of baked goods. Hostess was so much better than Drake's that Drake's parent company, Interstate Bakeries bought Hostess in 1995.
The Schwizz
What time is it?
Ironically, while I was on hiatus in New Zealand the past week, my friend told me she had seen Conra Kai Sensei John Kreese at the supermarket in Beverly Hills.
Also, you will be able to catch the famed Johnny Lawrence, aka William Zabka in 2006, in a movie called The Hard Corps featuring Wesley Snipes, and none other than the worst action hero actor next to Steven Segal, he incomparable Jean-Claude Vandamme.
So I heard it was Monday here, but I am living in a Tuesday world after having returned from the other side of the world yesterday. If you can ever get to New Zealand, it is worth the trip.
Top 5 Items in New Zealand
5) Wool
4) Wool
3) Wool or I guess you could go with Sheep here
2) Venison
1) Lamb
Top 5 Facts About New Zealand
5) Filmed Lord of the Rings and have tours to the different places scenes were shot
4) Filmed King Kong there - I could see by the 100 foot waterfalls they have
3) Appetizers are called Entree's and Entree"s are called Mains, get it straight
2) Bungy Jumping originated there
1) They have really good beer
And now, back to reality, what fun. If anyone has any entertaining or great new stories about NYC, please share.
just to keep this blog alive...
... i figured i post something sent to me from Rao. I give you
Sweep the Leg and Wake the Gimp; The Johnny Lawrence Story
Keep It Classy San Diego
Ahh yes, San Diago. Settled by the Germans in 1904, the translation was lost for several hundred years. It means "whales vagina".
What a place Huntington Beach is by the way. I have never seen more fake tits, since my last trip to Scores. That marine layer is definitely not caused by the smog from cars, but from all the hair products the girls and guys use. It was like I was in a bad 80's Ratt video. But man were these girls hot.
And, yes, Laguna Beach really is that way. What a phenomenal town. Newport Beach missed out by a nose, frankly, because it was the cougar capital of the world, but good times had by all.
If anyone gets out to the OC by the way, make sure you hit up Sushi Island in Costa Mesa. Yet another on my growing list of epic hole in the wall sushi joints. I really need to write a book.
Back to the NYC though. Man is it frickin steamin. You could cook white rice in this crap. If anyone is up for grabbin drinks Thursday, I'm available. It may be an inside deal though, because our drinks might melt.
Never watch the movie Hide and Seek with Robert DeNiro. It is a horrible horrible movie.
Well, back to the grind. Tom, i think i got like 6 of those covers. Nina, I got 94% of the states. If anyone wants a little afternoon get out your aggression, you can always check out
this. I'll post the Spear Throw tomorrow.
Keep it Classy World. I'm The Schwizz?
