Blogger Redux
It's been a while since my last post, and I guess after all the shit that went down; me crawling into a bottle for 2 months, the North Korean nuclear test, and now Bob Barker retiring, it just hasn't been a happy time. I tried everything to keep the creative juices going, however it just wasn't there. So I holed up at a dark East Village bar, became an expert at Big Buck Hunter Pro, and got my life back together.
That being said, some inane ramblings that I have observed here in the city over the past several months:
1) New Yorkers don't know how to commute on a subway. Four words, "Move the Fuck In"
2) Is it me, or are those leggings that have become fashion forward again really not made for fat girls to wear
3) The Mets were a pretty damn good team this year, the Giants are on their way, and the Knicks are a train wreck that will make for some great reality television.
4) Pabst is the new Bud?, Patron is the new Grey Goose?, Rum is still just for faggy Pina Coladas, and umbrella drinks
5) Lost is still a kick ass show, and Prison Break is slowly trumping 24, until Jack Bauer saves us from The Alien attack season, which will be led by Tom Cruise, and a regenerated L. Ron Hubbard
So, in honor of coming back, and our most lovable guy, Bob Barker (remember to have your pets spaid or neuetered you sick man), a new Top 5 of your favorite game shows of old and new.
5. Deal or No Deal - Excitement, Odds, Hot Briefcase Girls, and Howie Mandel!!
4. Card Sharks - Higher, Higher, Lower, Higher, Now Freeeeeeeze!
3. Matchgame - Goldberg's Girlfriend is so fat....How fat is she??
2. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire - "Final Answer?" - Yes Assmunch
1. Press Your Luck - Look at those little monkeys Dancin around, No Whammeeees!
Til Next time.....The Schwizz
posted by The Schwizz @ 4:46 PM
52 Comments:
Welcome back, Schwizzle! Top 5 game shows? Easy:
5. Family Feud. Loved seeing inbred hicks give ridiculous answers.
4. Price is Right. To this day, I associate watching "Plinko" with being home sick from elementary school.
3. Press Your Luck. "And....stop!" "Stop, on a European tour!"
2. Jeopardy. Haven't watched it in ages, but whenever it's on, I wonder why I don't watch it more.
1. Wheel of Fortune. This gets the top spot because it is amazing how a show that is literally designed for retarded people has stayed on the air for as long as it has.
Welcome back!!! keep em coming...
To answer the above about Wheel of Fortune, 93% of the public is legally retarded, which explains its success.
I have to second Jeopardy. "I don't like you Trebek!"
And how can you not include Bumper Stumpers? That game show was a classic.
I have no memory whatsoever of "Bumper Stumpers." Please explain.
oh man. Wasn't Bumper Stumpers the one where you had to guess the words mad eout of license plates?? That show rocked.
Pabst is the new bud. Fo sho'. I don't tailgate without a 30 pack. I sit at home and drink them no shirt on and with my jeans so low my pubes are peaking out. My girlfriend loves it when I do that. Funny thing is, she went to Harvard and still cannot figure out that she shouldn't be with me. I have no self respect, I pick my nose, and I write a blog. Harvard doesn't = smart.
I want to hate Prison Break so much because of the pure lunacy of it all, but I'm so hooked.
Deal or No Deal is great, but so bad at the same time. There has never been a game with such little need any rational thinking it blows my mind. I love watching people go down in flames on that show. Greedy bastards.
On the flip side, it seems like every contestant on 1 vs. 100 is a rocket scientist, and they just walk off the stage with $50,000 every time. Seems like a good proposition to me.
How about "Show Me the Money" with The Shat Man? I know all you boys love the dancing girls in their skimpy black frilly outfits! Don't get caught winning a lot or The Shat Man will actually dance with you!! Now that's enough to make me wake up in a cold sweat!! I can't say I remember Bumper Stumpers either. What about Tic Tac Dough with the best game show host of all time besides Bob Barker, Wink Martindale!! Long Live the game shows!!!
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