Things That Are Worse Than Watching a Knicks Game
I felt it was high time to make a post about what was once my favorite franchise in all of sports, the New York Knicks. I know, it seems patently ridiculous now, but in the halcyon days of the early and mid 1990's, I lived and died with every possession of every game, and every Knick playoff loss would nearly reduce me to tears. Now, thanks to the expert management of Isiah "Chester the Molester" Thomas and the brain-dead ownership of Douche Bag Dolan, they've become a sad joke, the punchline of the NBA, with no improvment in sight for the next 10 years. Amazingly, they are so bad, they've turned me off of the entire sport of basketball. And that's something I could never say for the Mets at their worst (think Jeff Torborg) or the Giants (think Ray Handley or Dave Brown). As bad as those teams were, I never lost my interest in baseball or the NFL. Maybe it's because I always felt that Mets and Giants management had some clue of what there were doing, so there was always hope. With the Knicks, both the owner and the GM are completely deranged, so really, there's no way out.
All of which is a long-winded way of posting today's top 5 list. Yes, it's the Top 5 Things That Are Worse Than Watching A Knicks Game. Feel free to add any of your own.
1. Full root canal, administered with a rusty pen knife
2. Doing 15 warm "Darth Vader" shots at Barcelona Bar (that's Jager and Captain Morgan's to you)
3. Sitting through the full run of Britney and K-Fed's reality show with your eyelids pried open like in A Clockwork Orange
4. Saying to our poker group, "I need some tax advice"
5. Watching a YES Newtork puff piece on the 2000 World Series
posted by Toasty Joe @ 3:27 PM
8 Comments:
I'm ecstatic not to see Ariadne auf Naxos at the Met on that list.
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For Starters:
1. Listening to The David Lee Roth show on K-Rock--I mean "Free FM".
2. Listening to the Dolans try to brush off the suggestion that the Knicks rebuild by saying things like "our fans want to win now; they won't stand for that" (sure, Chuck, blame your customers. thanks).
3. Watching the YES Network replay of Game 1 of the Subway Series, with the Kay & Sterling radio feed playing as the audio.
4. Watching twentysomething boys wearing writbands and polo shirts with the collars up hit on cute girls.
Hey flitgirl - that one would've been number 6.
5. Going to see Brokeback Mountain
4. Going to see Brokeback Mountain
3. Going to see Brokeback Mountain
2. Going to see Brokeback Mountain
1. Going to see Brokeback Mountain
Listening to yankee fans babble incessantly about their metrosexually infused team.
Hey Bookie, re: your number 4, you forgot to add "...with trucker hats tilted slightly to the side."
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